I have just started the book Making Gay Okay: How Rationalizing Homosexual Behavior is Changing Everything, by Robert Reilly. I’m only in Chapter 1, The Culture War, so it’s too early in the book to do a full “review” of it. But there are a couple of sentences that remind me how courageous you EnCourage parents are. Reilly is speaking here about the trend to define homosexuality in terms of rights.
Former vice president Dick Cheney’s public endorsement of same-sex “marriage” on behalf of his lesbian daughter is typical. He said: “I think that freedom means freedom for everyone….I think people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish…”
Those of us who know that homosexual “marriage” can’t by its very nature exist, and therefore ought not be codified into law, are often called haters and bigots. A label which is unfair, I always thought. But when I reflect on the turnaround that Dick Cheney, along with a number of other prominent politicians, had on this issue, I really have to wonder. How is it that one can so drastically change his stance on such a fundamental issue? What are we to think when this kind of thing happens?
Was Dick Cheney only against redefining marriage when he thought it was other people’s kids doing it? Suddenly when it was his own kid, well then, it’s okay? Does that mean that he never really thought the issue through in the first place? Was there no guiding principle backing his position? Did he not look at marriage, and its reason for being, and recognize that it exists solely to keep a mom and dad together with whatever children they create together?
Was he just aligning himself with his party, and just didn’t care either way? If that is the case, how then was that not hateful to take that position? Is the other side right about some of our motivations? Don’t we really have to look at ourselves a little closer when we see this kind of thing happen?
Because if it was a principled position, how then can he change it, just because his daughter wants to have the right to marry a woman? I mean, the whole point of principles is that you thoroughly look at what is at stake before it impacts you personally, and evaluate it according to your moral code, which if it truly is a moral code, should not change. Then, with the principle in place, it gets applied to everybody, even your own family. So, huh?
I’m not meaning to belabor the Dick Cheney decision so much; it’s old news. It’s only on my mind because of the book.
The real point that I would like to make is the incredible courage it takes to be an EnCourage parent. Because EnCourage parents are faced with the identical situation that Cheney encountered. This political hot-potato issue has landed right in your own homes. And yet, you choose to align your actions with your principles, based on the moral code that God has given us. It is difficult to do. Your kids do not understand how you could be against their happiness. How you could want to deprive them of their “civil rights.”
Homosexuality and the redefinition of marriage are issues that can and will tear families apart. They can pit daughter against father, father against mother, mother against son. Not because the parent who stands by his or her principles doesn’t love the child. Remarkably, it is because the parent does love the child so much, that he or she ultimately wants, not necessarily happiness for son or daughter, but eternal happiness.
EnCourage parents want for their kids to be upright and happy. But if a choice has to be made between doing the right thing and being happy, the good parent wants the child to do right. Sadly, in this world of moral relativism, muddled logic and don’t-judge-me mentality, the result is often a break in relations.
I cannot imagine the pain you feel, each time your child throws that “You don’t love me” demand in your face. The one that says if you love me, you will agree with me. This is a very divisive issue, and I pray for continued grace, wisdom and strength for you. And I admire your commitment to God’s loving plan for human sexuality. Thank you. God bless you.