Dear Mom, don’t call me, I’ll call you

You may have gotten the call, or the note, or the email. It’s a sad, gut-wrenching day. Your own child doesn’t want to speak to you. You mourn, you grieve. if you give in to your least-best self, you sink into despair.

But, consider this. It is important to acknowledge your child’s autonomy, that is, their separateness from you, and their right to make their own decisions. (The decision part applies to adult children, of course.) But so often, those decisions feel more of a lashing-out than a considered, well-thought-out, rational path. And there is a tendency to think your child is lost to you. But please, don’t despair. God is working on your child, shepherding him, protecting him, and letting him make his own choices, use his own free will. That most precious gift from God that allows us to reject Him. But God loves him even more than you do, and knows him even better, and your job is to pray, and to surrender your precious child to the care of Jesus, and his heavenly mother!

Please read this lovely post by our friend Dan, at his blog, Letters to Christopher. Hey, Parents, Don’t Despair.



Filed under Mothers, Parenthood, Prayer

Courage Conference, more video available

Air Maria has posted more of the Courage Conference videos, here. They are available to download as videos or audio-only mp3’s , just in case you want to download them and listen in the car! Every one of these is worth watching. Please take the time, especially if you couldn’t make it to the Courage/EnCourage Conference.

In addition to Bishop Daniel Thomas’ talk “Coraggio!,” the following videos have been posted. For those I don’t expound on here, look for summaries in future postings:

Fr. Paul Check, For When I am Weak, Then I am Strong.

The video leads off with the first ten minutes introducing episode one of the five-part Courage series that is being produced for EWTN. Then Fr. Check talks about the media projects: The five-part EWTN series, the book to be published Continue reading

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Feast Day of St. Augustine of Hippo

St. Augustine was the son of St. Monica, a notorious sinner, amazing convert, Bishop of Hippo and Church Father. He was a prolific writer, and here is an amazing insight from him, that I callously ripped of from “J-Bud” over at the Underground Thomist.

“The Maker of man became man that He, Ruler of the stars, might be nourished at the breast;
that He, the Bread, might be hungry;
that He, the Fountain, might thirst;
that He, the Light, might sleep;
that He, the Way, might be wearied by the journey;
that He, the Truth, might be accused by false witnesses;
that He, the Judge of the living and the dead, might be brought to trial by a mortal judge;
that He, Justice, might be condemned by the unjust;
that He, Discipline, might be scourged with whips;
that He, the Foundation, might be suspended upon a cross;
that Courage might be weakened;
that Security might be wounded;
that Life might die.

To endure these and similar indignities for us, to free us, unworthy creatures, He who existed as the Son of God before all ages, without a beginning, consented to become the Son of Man in these recent years.  He did this although He who submitted to such great evils for our sake had done no evil and although we, who were the recipients of so much good at His hands, had done nothing to merit these benefits.”  —  Augustine of Hippo, Sermon 191

This is food for meditation for about a week, I think. Or a lifetime.

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Feast Day of St. Monica

Today, August 27, is the feast day of St. Monica, the mother of St. Augustine, and the patron saint of mothers, married women, alcoholics and this website!

St. Monica prayed for Augustine’s conversion for his whole adult life, and died shortly after his baptism in 387 A.D.

This gives me another opportunity to recommend this very helpful book, St. Monica and the Power of Persistent Prayer, by Mike Aquilina and Mark W. Sullivan. I recommend this book to all parents who have kids. Period. It doesn’t matter if they experience same-sex attraction. It is full of wisdom, meditations, prayer and resolutions, in a particularly readable format.

Here is a resolution from the book that you may find particularly helpful:


I will provide my child with one of the finest things in life: A truly Christian parent. For the sake of my child’s conversion, I will seek my own conversion, without delay.

You can find more information on St. Monica at the site American Catholic, and at New Advent, in the Catholic Encyclopedia.

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The Courage of the Principled Parent

I have just started the book Making Gay Okay: How Rationalizing Homosexual Behavior is Changing Everything, by Robert Reilly. I’m only in Chapter 1, The Culture War, so it’s too early in the book to do a full “review” of it. But there are a couple of sentences that remind me how courageous you EnCourage parents are. Reilly is speaking here about the trend to define homosexuality in terms of rights.

Former vice president Dick Cheney’s public endorsement of same-sex “marriage” on behalf of his lesbian daughter is typical. He said: “I think that freedom means freedom for everyone….I think people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish…”

Those of us who know that homosexual “marriage” can’t by its very nature exist, and therefore ought not be codified into law, are often called haters and bigots. A label which is unfair, I always thought. But when I reflect on the turnaround that Dick Cheney, along with a Continue reading


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Before the Fall…

The second of the Courage Conference videos has been posted on Air Maria; it is Archbishop Chaput’s homily at the Opening Mass.

Archbishop Chaput reflects on what life must have been like before the fall of Adam and Eve, when not sinning was a lot easier to do. He speaks of the human struggle to keep our lives in balance with God’s plan. He paraphrases St. Augustine’s bird in flight image to help us to understand the burden of Christ’s law. I had never heard this metaphor before, and find it very helpful.

You can download it to watch or view it online, here. You can also download the audio as an MP3.


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Take heart! That is the meaning of the ubiquitous Italian word “coraggio.”

The first of the Courage Conference videos has been posted on Air Maria, it is the homily of Bishop Daniel E Thomas, Auxiliary to the Archbishop of Philadelphia. You can download it to watch or view it online, here. You can also download the audio as an MP3.

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Can you hear Jesus?

I have a friend Cathy who writes poetry. She sent me the following, and it got me to thinking about our final days here on earth — not the collective, eschatological FINAL DAYS on earth, but our individual final days…

Can you hear Jesus?

Can you hear Jesus?
His voice so gently calls.
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Premier of Everlasting Hills Movie

ever hillls 1

Desire of the Everlasting Hills is a documentary profiling three people, their sexual identities, and their relationship with the Catholic faith. I happen to be one of the three. My name is Rilene.

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The Power of a Mother’s Prayer

I am often asked about my conversion from the gay life back to the Catholic faith, about how exactly that took place. The question amuses me a bit because it is so often asked in the course of my first conversation with a new EnCourage parent. I frequently get the feeling that they are looking for the magic bullet, the secret formula, the-one-best-argument they can use with their own child to turn him or her away from the gay path. Continue reading

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