You may have gotten the call, or the note, or the email. It’s a sad, gut-wrenching day. Your own child doesn’t want to speak to you. You mourn, you grieve. if you give in to your least-best self, you sink into despair.
But, consider this. It is important to acknowledge your child’s autonomy, that is, their separateness from you, and their right to make their own decisions. (The decision part applies to adult children, of course.) But so often, those decisions feel more of a lashing-out than a considered, well-thought-out, rational path. And there is a tendency to think your child is lost to you. But please, don’t despair. God is working on your child, shepherding him, protecting him, and letting him make his own choices, use his own free will. That most precious gift from God that allows us to reject Him. But God loves him even more than you do, and knows him even better, and your job is to pray, and to surrender your precious child to the care of Jesus, and his heavenly mother!
Please read this lovely post by our friend Dan, at his blog, Letters to Christopher. Hey, Parents, Don’t Despair.
Today, August 27, is the feast day of St. Monica, the mother of St. Augustine, and the patron saint of mothers, married women, alcoholics and this website!
St. Monica prayed for Augustine’s conversion for his whole adult life, and died shortly after his baptism in 387 A.D.
This gives me another opportunity to recommend this very helpful book, St. Monica and the Power of Persistent Prayer, by Mike Aquilina and Mark W. Sullivan. I recommend this book to all parents who have kids. Period. It doesn’t matter if they experience same-sex attraction. It is full of wisdom, meditations, prayer and resolutions, in a particularly readable format.
Here is a resolution from the book that you may find particularly helpful:
I will provide my child with one of the finest things in life: A truly Christian parent. For the sake of my child’s conversion, I will seek my own conversion, without delay.
You can find more information on St. Monica at the site American Catholic, and at New Advent, in the Catholic Encyclopedia.
I am often asked about my conversion from the gay life back to the Catholic faith, about how exactly that took place. The question amuses me a bit because it is so often asked in the course of my first conversation with a new EnCourage parent. I frequently get the feeling that they are looking for the magic bullet, the secret formula, the-one-best-argument they can use with their own child to turn him or her away from the gay path. Continue reading
Filed under Mothers, Prayer
St. Monica, patron of Christian parents,
we entrust to your protection,
the children whose names you can read in our hearts.
Pray for them,
that they may be granted strength to combat weakness,
victory over temptation,
guidance to resolve their doubts, and
success in all their undertakings.
May they enjoy good health of mind and body,
see beauty and worth in all created things,
and serve the Lord with firm faith, joyful hope and enduring love.